“Lock down ain’t that easy…i hear some of them say silently!”
I have innocently borrowed the verb “Lock down” which to me has a far deep and underlying meaning in this article i wish to dwell upon. Let me start with a story about this young man, named Raman who is in his late thirties, a third world citizen, confident, minimalist, still a bachelor, but lately unemployed, in “Pursuit of Happiness”. Going by the norms defined by the society at large, a definition of “Success” is the following: “attaining wealth, prosperity and/or fame” with an extension — Married with Family! So our character Raman, too seems bothered by the societal pressure, is restless and determined to wipe off the stigma of Being unemployed, unmarried, unsuccessful and unhappy, respectively!
It is early March 2020! Heading to his destiny, he is offered a job away from home. Thanking his stars, he sees a light at the end of the tunnel and dreams getting fulfilled. Settles down in a temporary three star lodge and excited on his new adventure. To his dismay, there are now unfortunate sequence of events within a fortnight that kinds of shakes him. He resigns and embraces the new norm of a “physical” Lock down like many staring at uncertainty. Now he is really stranded but optimism introduces him to similar unfortunate men, few in the high income bracket (Businessmen/Traders) and some Daily wagers. The new acquaintances, he finds are married and some divorced, some stranded inside the restaurant, all displaying some level of pessimism. While there is uncertainty, Raman is hopeful to get his meals and learns to live each day as a blessing. With social distancing and striking a conversations with few men occasionally, on how they cope up with the lock down and surprisingly why do they not return to their houses which is hardly 15 min drive away, he is introduced to shocking common responses — “It is more blessed here than at home. Full stop”! There is deep sense of grief and hesitation in their voices. This is not the first time Raman has heard this. What is the real problem, Raman asks himself that night? Am i too heading in the same direction of chasing a wrong goal and embracing depression? Why have so many said that? Have relationships become so fragile now? Demand supply game of less brides and more grooms..LOL? Something to do with compatibility mismatch with planetary positions (trust me, this is a contender here)? Is it the superficial cost of living? Land of Intolerance? Or simply life is so much uncertain today than it was few decades ago, that there is now room only for imbalance, frustration and sense of failure. No matter what, the underlying problem is this — A man is perceived to be strong and never display his emotions (weakness) and/or talk about his failures in public on family and relationships! This is Mental Lock Down and this is shocking!
Men are known to take better care about their bikes and cars than they do about their own mental well being. Historically Men were warriors, known to have won battles but when it comes to oneself they feel so reluctant to “Fight the Stigma” of Dealing With Mental Health Problems. The painful feeling of being judged or mocked in society! Fear of societal rejection, being ashamed in public, victim of ill mouth and discrimination. With technological advancement, it does not help either. Such news spread even faster. All of which results in increased cases of depressions, suicides and a universe of sorrow. The stigma of Men seeking help is viewed as so “Not Masculine”.
It is utmost important, even more in these times of uncertainty that such misconceptions of societal pressure must be challenged, backed by counselling centers, helplines and a strong legal system. Even though perceived as older generations, we must raise awareness to collectively fight this Stigma and built a culture of mental health, with faith in the new generations to lead the way in dealing with problems associated with Mental health more openly without any discrimination to gender.
“A Physical lock down may last for weeks if not months with certain degree of pain (being sensitive to the vulnerable sections of society), but a Mental lock down is far more devastating and lasting!”
Today, Raman has a new narrative to life and an advocate to the newer generation to build a society that promotes mental well-being, be it at the workplace or Family and chase meaningful goals to find the balance to remain happy.
Inspiration:
“
I’m so sick of running
As fast as I can
Wondering if I’d get there quicker
If I was a man (you know that)
And I’m so sick of them
Coming at me again (coming at me again)
’Cause if I was a man (if I was man)
Then I’d be the man (then I’d be the man)
“
— Taylor Swift [The Man]
