The emotion that can break your heart is sometimes the very one that heals it
― Nicholas Sparks
Why do you quit jobs so often? Why did you divorce? Why do you react?Why cant you stay silent? Why make so much fuss? Why being so irrational? Why only you?
To my audience: When was the last time you believe taking a Rational decision?
Really, That’s simply Wow!
What if i may share a different view. We believe we’re rational creatures, but are emotional creatures first. As human beings, most of our decisions are based on Instincts (the Lizard brain that deals with “Fight-Freeze-Flight”) and/or Emotions (Mid brain) and are “Seldom rational”. We always justify and rubber stamp our decision after taking those decisions to be rational in some way, its kind of a verdict attested by the third section of our brain (Mammal brain).
In reality, Processing rational decisions takes much more time & efforts than ones based on the way we feel. An example would be our military strategies thinking two to three steps ahead of our enemies. Rational Thinking is far more complex than we believe.
Our Emotions are never Rational !
Until now i am simply talking the language of human science — Psychology. Lets us deal with our “Emotions” — Fear, Aggression, Happiness, etc.
Let’s say, you are heading with your family on a lovely vacation and unfortunately drive past a crash scene. Most of us would slow down . The act of slowing down satisfies the kind of a Voyeuristic urge. (two-fold:)
- To commiserate with the victims hoping nobody to be hurt;
- To feel better that me and my family are safe;
Known as a Vulture instinct, which by the way is not gruesome as one may feel, simply a natural feeling.
“Emotions are adaptions that give us the ability to survive and reproduce”
— Charles Darwin
An another classic example is our Corporate workforce. When was the last time you really felt passionate about your job. We are so deeply sucked into the system that even if we know about any workplace abuse, all we do is bitch about it over some drinks, try to stay away or “adjust” so as to continue with our life. Why? because 9/10 colleagues are silent, so why bother to be a corporate Cat woman or a Batman and stand against it and risk it all?
I ask Why Not ! One Life, Right !
Our Emotional Survival Traits:
- Anger drives us to confront that which frustrates us.
- Fear impels us to flee or fight.
- Love drives us to share our lives with someone else.
In life, Human Experiences, good or bad are bound to trigger Emotions that further influence our decisions. Emotions provide us with the impetus to choose and pursue different goal paths. Lack of emotions result in the loss of physical and cognitive resources essential for self-preservation (Basic instinct — means to protect oneself from harm or death).
Your emotions, they are personal to you, so are your decisions that need NO justification for others to accept you by force!
Takeaway 1
The Power of Emotion lies in nurturing them, to establishing a common connection with other people being in the same situation, to uplift those in need by making bold decisions based on core human values giving a meaningful purpose to our mere existence, not being influenced by Force, Bias, Discrimination or Favoritism.
The Second part, is even more tricky or let me use the word somewhat disturbing more than ever in today’s time’s. It is called Social Validation. We are influenced by the way other people around us Act, even if we don’t know that we are. The Truth is Social validation is more important to us than being right.
Company reviews, Social sites likes, reviews, ratings…are all examples of Social validation and how many of them are genuine or legalized? Hmm…
Being Silent & Accepting wrongdoing is far more Disastrous to Human wellbeing.
Be it Media bias, corporate favoritism, societal stigma’s, domestic abuses — Silence is Toxic! It is the cancer in the making if not for us, but for coming generations. What we learn at our school is not what we practice in real life. The adrenaline or dopamine that we seek is worthless the chase we endeavor.
Take a moment and ask yourself this question:
Is my silence even justified to the wrong doings , false propaganda around?
The Bitter truth is we are unwilling to step out and stand against “Social Validation” where questionable Obligations dwell upon our Insecurities — Greed, Anger, Lust, Pride and Attachments leaving no courage to Say Stop!
Social Validation means nothing if it does not uplift the society.
Takeaway 2
- Challenge the Social validation .
- Choose values over privilege .
- The quality of connections in our life matter, not the quantity .
Final Takeaway
“Use pain as a stepping stone, not a camp ground.” — — Alan Cohen
Your emotion is sacred as it provide you with the impetus to choose and pursue different goal paths. Nourish the Power of Emotions and choose a meaningful Social Validation to lead a Life of Dignity and Mental Well-Being.
